Failure: Will it Break You or Make You?
Kasey Nicholson (00:00:20):
Hi guys. Ah, what’s up. I need to Grab my mic and then we will get her going as soon as more people get on. But yes. Hello? Hello? Hello? Today’s Wednesday, right? Yeah, today’s Wednesday. Sorry. My days are confused. Confused on my babies.
Kasey Nicholson (00:00:47):
Okay. Hopefully this works. Hopefully you guys can hear me if I plug this in.
Kasey Nicholson (00:00:55):
Let me know if it works. Hopefully it does
Kasey Nicholson (00:01:03):
Check, check, check, Check, check, check.
Kasey Nicholson (00:01:17):
Oh, yeah. It’s working, I think.
Kasey Nicholson (00:01:22):
Okay. All right, here we go. I am. So I think it was my, no, I got one more thing after this. If you guys were wondering, I don’t know if you guys are wondering at all. Ah, yeah. So here we go. Right on busy man. Not really busy. I am busy kind of sorta, but not extremely busy, but I am extremely busy. I’m not extremely busy. What am I saying? All right, Jessica Janeka Jennica. Hello, Jenica long. Hopefully I’m saying that right. Hello. Five other people that have joined Nicole Ventura, Natalie wronged, uh, uh, Juliet. [inaudible]
Kasey Nicholson (00:02:02):
so late. Uh, he, he, uh, Joanne here, are you just fine? Well, thanks Joanne. I appreciate that. All right, let’s get her going. All right. Uh, hope everybody’s having a good time in your life and wherever you are and what you’re doing. I hope you guys are being healthy and wealthy in terms of, uh, the abundance that you have in your life. Um, what I mean by that is if you can hear me be grateful for your hearing, if you can see me be grateful for you, that you can see and all your other five senses, all your other senses that you might have, uh, be grateful for that. You have those, if you could, uh, move your limbs, be grateful for those things. You know, and as we kind of started working towards, out from ourselves, you know, you got, you got lungs and heart and in a beautiful body inside organs and veins and arteries and nails and eyebrows, except of you guys might not have eyebrows and I’m not going to judge you, but some, yeah, anyways, uh, some of you guys might have, uh, Oh, eyelashes.
Kasey Nicholson (00:03:09):
You know, some of you guys might not have any eyelashes and you put eyelashes on to make it look like you have eyelashes. I don’t know. I don’t care. But if you have all these things in your life, be grateful for the things you have in your life. Let’s start this. Let’s, let’s get into the middle of this day. Or some of you guys are ending your day with gratitude and understanding what we have. We are more blessed than what we don’t have and to count our blessings and to be grateful for the blessings that we have is a great way to start this. Talk about the infamous thing called failure. Okay. And I’m just looking on my, my phone here because I get more. I get more, um, Hmm, hold on.
Kasey Nicholson (00:04:03):
I’m just, Oh, there we go. I got him. Uh, hello. Thena is it Theano or Tina to HANA or is it thinner? Aloha thinner or to Hannah? Hello, Mina or myDNA. Um, so good to finally catch you live. Awesome. And now Mina, sorry. Uh, Chris. Hello from Rosebud. Hello from billings Montana. Uh, hello, Vernon and hello? Keck. Jealous of him. Hello there. Okay. Here we go. All right. Have you guys want to provide any feedback, please? I asked you to share this video. I asked you also to, um, comment and dialogue with me. I don’t know if that’s dialogue is that dialogue really? I don’t know, interact with me on the chat and don’t feel free because I do not know everything in this world. Um, I only know a little, very bit of what has, uh, affected in my life and how I’ve dealt with things and the way you have dealt with things could be totally different.
Kasey Nicholson (00:05:15):
And if there’s something that I say that may or may help you, or may or may not help you, or that you can relate to, or that maybe you said, Hey, that’s a good idea, but have you also thought about this? I’m always open to even more learning, because like I said, yeah, I’m a facilitator for non native on this Institute, which I would like to thank for bringing this power hour to you. Um, um, so thank you so much and all the supporters and the followers and the people that believe in native wellness Institute. Thank you guys so much for tuning in Buju. Uh, Rebecca, uh, thank you, uh, Buju for, from Nikki. Hello? Hello. And, uh, Susan Hill. Thank you. Uh, hello. Okay. Failure. How many of you guys fail? How many guys have failed and how many guys will continue to fail? Raise your hands while I can’t see your hands, which is fine, but I assume you probably raising your mind hand.
Kasey Nicholson (00:06:10):
Some people don’t really physically raise their hand, but in their mind, they’re raising their hand. And of course, we’re all going to go through these things called failure. I mean, all this, these, the thing that we call failure, then also, uh, we’re going to also see other people fail and we’re going to see our country fail. Um, we’re going to see our community fail. Okay. Fail is inevitable. Inevitable. Is that right? Is that a good word? Sure. Why not? Uh, it is. It’s going to happen to the best of us. I don’t care who you are and I don’t care how good you are. You’re going to fail and whether or not be, if you’re not feeling in your, in your eyes, you’re going to be failing in somebody else’s eyes. Okay. And we all do it and it’s okay. I want to let you know today.
Kasey Nicholson (00:06:51):
It’s okay to fail. I don’t care if you’re trying to recover from alcoholism and you failed numerous times. It’s okay. What is key is that you get back up and you try it again. Um, even if you are, if you feel like you’re a failure, um, that’s okay too. I can, I’m not in your space, but I’ll let you know. That’s okay. Cause there’s times where every once in a while I feel like a failure as well. I’m sure there’s millions upon millions of people that are in the same place as you. So when you fail, don’t feel like you’re alone. Like you’re, you’re less than something you’re less than, you know, you know, don’t, don’t feel that. I mean, it’s okay. Don’t ah, I can’t, I can’t stress that enough, how important it is to feel okay with failure, failure is there to help us is not there to make us worse.
Kasey Nicholson (00:07:41):
Okay. But our perception about how we fail or how we take failure really comes down to the core values that we instill within ourselves or the core values that have been instilled to us from family community and so on. Or maybe from what we’ve learned on TV, social media, there’s so many factors out there that define how we are going to deal with the concept or the idea or the actual action of failure. Um, and then, you know, you’re going to define what is your definition of failure as well? Like how are you defining failure? And that comes down to against societal norms, family norms, individual, what you read, what you seen. Um, there is so many onions to the onion layer effect of failure and how that affects you in the core. You know what I mean? Um, you can look at failure in terms of how, how, how well is your self esteem?
Kasey Nicholson (00:08:38):
You know, how well is your self-confidence? How has your, how well is your self-belief? How strong is your spirituality? How long, how strong is your mental capacity to read and learn and be open-minded? How emotionally are you balanced or understanding your emotions to about failure and to deal emotionally? Um, well with failure, uh, the people you hang out with, like I’ve said before, how well are you, who are you surrounding yourself with and how do they define and support you within that failure in life? Um, physically what’s going on. I mean, be it pay attention, pay attention to what’s going on physically, when you feel like you fail or somebody else’s fail. How does that, what kind of core did that, does that strike with you? I mean, this is when I talk about failure. It’s just not just the word. It’s just not the feeling.
Kasey Nicholson (00:09:29):
It’s in a holistic approach to the word failure, because we have such a negative connotation to connotation to fail it, or is that right? A negative, um, defined definition of failure, negative feeling to failure. Oh, he failed. Oh, that’s too bad. Well, he’s probably going to continue to fail and well, you know what, I’m not going to stick around to watch him fail over and over him or her failed over and over. They’re just, I can’t believe they failed. I mean, they, they, they, they said they did it and they just failed. You know, he probably believes just failed at life. You know? Like there’s just this ever being like, we just speed it. And you could think of it even as a positive or negative spiritual failure, again, perception. How do you view it? And we are all, I, I can’t say we are all, I know some from stories that were failure has, has broken, I was just freaking just demolished them.
Kasey Nicholson (00:10:25):
That has a numb up, spit them out, re and then they ate it again and they just spit them out, even worse, you know? And it’s, it’s, it’s sad to see this person to continue this, this cycle of failure and how they view it. It’s not until somebody said, Hey, is there a way that you can change your perception on failure to help you understand what failure really is and what can really mean for a person? Because if you’re not open to that, then I’m not, I, or whoever else is going to share that is not going to waste their time to try to convince you otherwise. Because I think most part you’re going to have to kind of keep open-minded to a point to understand how failure can help you. Now, if we think about that, I’m always picking on my good broker for, for his weightlifting and stuff.
Kasey Nicholson (00:11:12):
You know, I just tease him. He’s, you know, he’s really, really fit, eats well, but even he does fail, like when he’s trying to do this fricking I don’t know, 80 pound kettlebell, Russian twists with the jump squat, overhead, dead lift, clean move. Right. I don’t know if you guys know him, but who he is, but he’s he’s really fit and he can’t do it. Well, ladies and gentlemen, he failed. I mean, at that move or at that complex move, does that mean he quits though? Does that mean, he says I can’t do this anymore. And he just totally lets his nutrition, his body, his drive, all the work he’s put in to get to that 80 pound Desi quit, you know, I don’t know. That’s I, again, I don’t know where he’s going to go with that movement. I would hope not. I would pray not.
Kasey Nicholson (00:12:02):
I w I would hope that he has enough. People are surrounding him to say, you can do this. You got this, don’t worry about you just fail that, lifting this. I know if you do it again, or maybe you changed some certain things in, in your movement, you’re going to get it. Or maybe it’s just straight drive mental, dry. Maybe he just wasn’t focused that day. Maybe he just wasn’t. Um, um, just into it, he wasn’t motivated, but he was just there to just do the routine. But maybe if you heightened this focus, it wouldn’t sway back and forth or right. Or left it stay straight down into his core and he’s able to get back up. It could be technique, you know? So who knows, that’s just an example of, we all fail and that’s fine. You know, I fail as a comedian. I fail as a speaker.
Kasey Nicholson (00:12:44):
I fail as a dad. Sometimes I fail as a husband. Sometimes I fail as an athlete running. I feel as an actor or whatever may be, and that’s fine. It’s okay. Like, dang it. You know, there’s disappointment and it’s okay to be disappointed. It’s an emotion and sadness. It’s like, Aw, man, what can I do now? It doesn’t make me want to like revert back to five steps forward. And maybe once then back, if I choose to, it just means I’m taking a step back, but these next two steps forward. These next two steps that I take forward are going to be meaningful, impactful. They’re going to be with their purpose. You know, they’re going to be focused and they can be driven. They’re going to be, uh, steps that are going to be heard. You know? Um, it doesn’t mean that we just step back and we just take a seat and say, okay, I can’t do this anymore.
Kasey Nicholson (00:13:30):
Which I feel it does to a lot of people. Now, before I get back into it, I’m gonna read some, some, some comments, uh, Mimi man. Absolutely. I freeze. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So people are responding to, when I said, how many people fail or do you know anybody that fails people were agreeing to? And me, me, me, uh, David McCloud’s, uh, hope, uh, Stephan Bartlett said hello from, and then Nick did in New York. Sorry, I can’t say that my bad. Uh, let me see. Debra Keats from good afternoon, Washoe Paiute from Northern Nevada. Hello, Deborah, um, ever, ever says respect honor. We need to try and stay positive. Education is very important. Um, then need NIDA bunny TIAA, Venetia, uh, nor shop, sorry. Hello from Alaska. Hello? Hello. Uh, fail forward. That’s a good one. Fail forward. I got a question for you, Joanne.
Kasey Nicholson (00:14:38):
I would like to say easier said than done. Okay. Based off of all these other factors that go in. So when I tell someone, Oh, get over it. You know what I mean? In my mind, I not saying that you’re saying this, but when I read it interpret as fail forward, that means I’m going to fail for which is I understand the concept as me. I do, but to me, some people, as I read it right away, it was like, get over it, like fail forward. And that’s just, I’m just saying, that’s just my interpretation of it. I understand what you’re saying. And I understand the meaning of it. But as someone is like, what does that mean fail for? Like, what are you talking about? Like, you want me to just fail? Like you think it’s so easy just to go forward and failure?
Kasey Nicholson (00:15:18):
Um, I don’t know. That’s just, it’s something in my opinion, easier said than done. It’s again, this is discussion. This is topics to discuss. I’m not arguing. I’m just saying what if someone took it a different way or a wrong way. Okay. Um, Stephan said failure is relative to expectation. Yep, exactly. What are your expectations? Who’s expecting? What from you or what are you expecting? What from somebody else? So, Oh, that’s a good one too, because I always tell people like, uh, they, I do something just as an example, making a story. I don’t know. I do something without knowing their expectation because they never told me exactly what they wanted or where they wanted it to come from. And then they be, then they get disappointed. And when they get disappointed, I in turn would feel like a failure because I didn’t meet their expectations.
Kasey Nicholson (00:16:16):
But at the same time, I didn’t know the bar to rise, to, to meet their expectations, to ensure that I would get some level of success and make the part, the whole party, somewhat happy, you know, um, this happy equate to failure just really equate to happiness. You know, like we, again, we go down that, that, that discussion, that talking circle again of what do you feel is failure? What do you feel is how do you define happiness through failure or failure through happiness? You know, vice versa. And, uh, that’s, that’s, that’s a, that’s a good quote there. Uh, Joanne and Stephan, sorry. Um, hello from California, Mon Montebello, California.
Kasey Nicholson (00:17:02):
Uh, I’ll uh, uh, all hombre. Uh, okay. Um, Patrick Rohan said we are humans, exclamation Mark with a cry face, or happy face shame. Elaine David McCloud said, uh, so is arenas, Toledo, sorry if I said that wrong. So Rena, so Lido, I don’t know if I’m saying all right. Much needed today. Thank you for your words. No, thank you for tuning in. I’m just, you know, maybe reiterating stuff you already know. Um, Stephan Barlin. Whoa. I was talking to myself about the steps. Cha-cha cha you are psychic. Yay. Good for you. Stuffing guide, Greg. Hi from Toppenish, Washington. Right on why am I speaking like an MC Apollo MC I don’t know. Christie Smith. Hi from Toronto, Canada. Hello? Christie Venetia Venetia said like Venetia blinds. Oh, Venetian. Okay. I just found that showed you. All right. Cool. Thanks. Venicia um, Maggie and our Dukie. I do cheat. Sometimes failure is a redirection of where you’re well, wow. Where’d you go? Oh,
Kasey Nicholson (00:18:08):
Sometimes failures or redirection of where you’re supposed to be. Don’t swim against the current here’s here’s not devil’s advocate, but here’s a different way to look at it. I’m not disagreeing with you, but sometimes maybe that person needs to swim against the current to become stronger and not always go with status quo in terms of the definition or the expectations of failure. That’s just an example. I’m just saying I was just not devil’s advocate, but just maybe something to think about it differently. Um, David McClouds is absolutely Lori Pierce. If a door closes for me, I stepped back and wonder if an ancestor’s tell me to rethink my direction or, okay. Nice. Nice. All right. Thank you guys for the feedback. I think so too, you know, all these different, uh, perceptions or views on failure are very helpful, you know, um, there’s, there’s, there’s wisdom and insight and knowledge within all these things that we say to each other.
Kasey Nicholson (00:19:14):
Um, because they’re coming from somewhere that has been taught to you from somewhere that has taught them that told you and so on and so on, you know, uh, whether it be through a negative or positive, uh, beehive there’s, again, there’s knowledge is power there’s there’s substance. There’s a spirit to it. When we discuss with each other, with the words that we say, okay, Jesse, I’ll call you Jesse. Hello, Jesse. Um, so a lot of those things are really, really important in terms of understanding this word failure or this action of feel failing and what it does to us in our psyche. Again, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially, physically. Okay. Let’s give an example of failure. Okay. Okay. Here We go. I was just recently, I’ll give you a recent story. I was just recently in LA and, uh, I was trying out for a game show that I do as good as I want it to that I do as good as I wanted to within the show where my expectations high enough, for me to feel like a success or to feel like they were attainable or they’re are reachable. And I would say yes. However,
Kasey Nicholson (00:20:25):
The Obstacles that be within this realm of luck, Um, made the made, the, the success rate go a little bit lower and I fell victim to a couple, three situations that really weren’t in my control. And I needed a little luck to help me succeed to get past those situations. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the luck, which is fine. So I had to rely on skill. The skill was ahhh, the skill was blocked by luck, if that makes sense, or by unluckiness. Um, and I walked away disappointed, not mad, just disappointed, not in my actions, no, but in the outcome of how it, the outcome, the result of what happened, I was done, even though I know I could have went further, but I’m not focusing on the would’ve could’ve, should’ve, I’m focusing on. I gave this a good try. I represented not only myself, my core family and my two sons and my wife and my mom and all them. Um, not only did I do that, represented them well, then I represented them.
Kasey Nicholson (00:22:02):
My four Bellmont family really well, like before Bella peeps, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Ani Nakota relatives. Well, then from that perspective, the state of, or the state of Montana, then from that, you know, a native perspective, I re I, I feel, I hope I representative I represented my people well enough within that failure, you know, and saying, you know what, I didn’t fail. How many people get a chance, how many Native people, because I guarantee you the, the amount of non-natives on that show, I was pretty sure I was the only native on that show out of, I don’t know how many contestants – there was a lot. And I did something cool. I can, I can tell stories of this, um, later on in the future, more specific stories. Um, but I didn’t fail, but I, I, I succeeded within that failure, if that makes sense. Right?
Kasey Nicholson (00:23:07):
Even though I did fail on the show, I succeeded volumes. I mean, I succeeded volumes. I, I got to do things, crazy things that were so fun. So nerve wracking and looking back on it, it’s going to be freaking hilarious. Like I am, I’m, I’m nervous about seeing myself like that, but it’s fine. You know, it, it is what I, that’s what I signed up for the what to do, but yeah, so that gives you an example of what is, what, in terms of failure. Um, and that’s fine. And it’s okay. And it’s, and it’s just like a basketball game, you know, when you’re, when he’s shooting free throws over and over and over, and you don’t make, you make one out of a hundred, a person might feel like they failed, like, because they set their, their intentions to do a 10 out of a hundred.
Kasey Nicholson (00:24:05):
Um, but they only made one, 1%. Now how they take that failure, um, really kind of defines will kind of more or less define who they are. Will it make them or break them, will they quit, or will it drive them or make them strive to be better? Again, each person is different. Um, each family is different. Each community is different. Uh, the world is different. I mean, it just really honestly depends on the psyche of internal to the, the, the micro to the macro, right. It just really depends on, on the, the environment that we allow ourselves to be in. Um, with internally, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, all that stuff to like outside that body to further out, you know, what we, what we take in what we process, what we allow ourselves to take, literally all these things. I mean, we’re just talking about failure, but see how much of a dynamic it has within our psyche, within ourselves with our motivation, within our inspiration, all of these things.
Kasey Nicholson (00:25:08):
It’s just, yeah. It’s failure, but it just, it, Oh, there’s so many things that we could take from it that, but when someone, what, some of us focus so much on the lack of success, then the actual, we put failure above success. When in actuality, when that guy who made one out of a hundred, there were success. And then there was failure again, how you define it? What family did you come from? What are you reading? All those things. Okay. So let’s, uh, go back to our comments because I don’t want to go too much into it. Like these stuff, all this stuff is stuff you can relate to. Um, hello from Sacramento, California, representative Walker river, how you tribe of Shire’s Nevada, Bo Rhonda, thank you. Uh, call her Jessie respect to being with you a ho. Okay. Joanne says Joanne MRN. I mean, sorry. Joanne Duran says perception is everything using failure to find success during, or doing a, trying, using failure to find success doing or trying something new, but are afraid to do we have to step out there, even if we don’t know where it will lead magazine or do cheap, hopefully I’m saying that. Right. Um, you’re only speaking of failure in a negative connotation.
Kasey Nicholson (00:26:26):
Yes. True. Could be, or I am, or what are you talking about? Like, am I, um, if you’re talking about me yes. At the time. Yes. Um, awesome. Thank you, Stephan. Uh, Joanne setbacks can fuel future successes. Yes. Uh, you want to put yourself out there? You went, you participated, you put yourself out there. Yes. Thanks. David. I’m native American with respect. I’m an elder medicine. Thank you ever, Eva. Um, failure is part of success. It can be a step towards success, re situate and try it again. Or like you said, move to something else. If you, it’s not a step that leads you to your journey. Uh, David failure, the only failure is not, is not to try Stephan. Is it fair to say that there are setups to fail and being honestly not playing the victim? How to know the difference? Yeah. Tell us step seven.
Kasey Nicholson (00:27:22):
Tell us, I don’t know. I don’t know if you’re asking me or if that’s rhetorical question, because if that is, I don’t know the whole answer and all the answer to that. I can tell you from my experience, but I want to get up to that one person. Oh, that said you were talking in a negative connotation. Um, Maggie, I don’t know if you were talking to me or you’re like just reiterating things, but yeah. Uh, that’s what people do though. Sometimes that’s what people that’s. I was trying to take you down to her journey in terms of like, this is what people do in terms of negative connotation in terms of failure. That’s what happens to a lot of us in Indian country and around the world. When we, when we encounter our own failures or another person’s failure, it goes straight to negativity.
Kasey Nicholson (00:28:05):
A lot of the time. Now I’m not saying everybody does that, but it does a lot of the time go into this negative connotation. This poor you poor me attitude. Um, I’m not going to be anything more than just this thing that has now defined me, who I am. Right. Then I would go into the, the other concept of, you know, like I said, this is a two, this is, I dunno, a several headed beast or the several, this is a very layered onion of failure. Um, then you could go into the positivity of it. There’s this tons of positives that like many people have been saying, but we sometimes will sugar coat failure and not really let our true emotions out in terms of what that failure meant to us and how it, how we, how we’ve come to that situation of failure. And, um, I think it’s important for a lot of us to really sit down and talk about failure and how that, what that feels like, like spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially, physically, like, what does that do to us?
Kasey Nicholson (00:29:15):
Because we don’t talk about it enough. We sugar coat it. We sometimes do say, you know, it’s going to be okay, you’re going to get past this. And sometimes that person that failed doesn’t know how to take that positive criticism at that time. And maybe they just want to talk about how it feels about the feeling internally, externally, and the emotions they see when people fail. Because I know, let me see art, my son, art, my sons, my sons, me and my wife’s sons, when they they’re very visual. They’ll look at us to see if are we mad? Are we happy or sad, or we glad. So when they mess up, okay, they ask, did I do something wrong? Now? I didn’t say they were a failure. I didn’t say they didn’t didn’t do anything wrong, but they even interpret as something was wrong or they failed at something by just, uh, ourselves looking a certain way that internally inside them makes me, it makes them feel maybe less confident, uh, uh, soft belief goes down, uh, uncertain, um, cautious, uh, those kinds of things.
Kasey Nicholson (00:30:34):
So, okay. Yeah. Let’s talk about my facial expressions, but I also want to talk about how did that make you feel when I had gave that facial expression, because I didn’t realize I gave you a look of that made you feel disappointed or made you feel fearful or made you feel like you failed. I didn’t mean to give you that look. So sometimes we often have to find even our facial expressions and how we convey that, you know, it doesn’t mean, okay, now I got to watch everything I do and how I do everything. No, no, no. I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying we have to learn to interpret and check back with the ones that we love to make sure, Hey, is everything okay about what just happened in terms of failure? You wouldn’t really say failure, but you could do you feel like you failed, you know, and let them kind of explore it and talk with them about that talk.
Kasey Nicholson (00:31:24):
It was about, well, you know what? I feel like I kind of felt like you feel too, you know, even just talking about that. Cause sometimes again, like we sugar coat failure. Oh, it’s okay. You’ll get them the next time. It’s fine. You’ll be fine. Don’t worry about, just try hard, try again. Don’t don’t give up and that’s fine. I I’m all about that. I’m a motivational talker, you know, that’s what I’m about. But at the same time, I’m also about being realistic about the word, the feeling of failure and how that actually transpires and how to Matic for some people that can be, and that can either again, make them or break them and how that, that, that, that process can again, make them or break them. Failure. Looks, hearing, smelling a feeling and tasting. I don’t know if anybody could taste failure, but sometimes people probably can.
Kasey Nicholson (00:32:15):
Okay. Um, so your senses, how are they dealing with the interpretation of this failure? Okay. This is an example to, to, to, to, to explore. Okay. Um, okay. I’m gonna go back to her or things here. It doesn’t matter how many times you feel get back up. Okay. [inaudible] setups to fail. Is it fair to say that there are set ups to fail? Oh yes, definitely. I was going to get back to your question. I think there is, I think there are setups to fail, but then again, we probably could twist it and say, are they set up to succeed? Okay. But are we sometimes set up to fail? Or when there are there, are there obstacles in our way to say, okay, there’s no way that the person’s going to get past this.
Kasey Nicholson (00:33:06):
Really won’t know until we try. Right. Um, and then say, there’s no way I could did this. Like, why would you even put this in front of me knowing that I can dunk a 10 for you want me to win $1 million? If I could dunk this 10 foot rim? I mean, well, back in the days there probably I could, I know it could have, but now I’m no, I that’s. That’s you’re, you’re setting me up to fail. Like there’s no way I can do it. Okay. Next year, a failure. I didn’t even try you. Didn’t give me a try. And then I try and then obviously I couldn’t do it. I can see that kind of scenario as well as a failure, but then there’s also like employers stuff. There’s stuff like that as well. I don’t want to get really too deep into that stuff, but that stuff to talk about as well.
Kasey Nicholson (00:33:45):
Like why was this put in place for me to not rise above or to at least achieve or attempt to succeed at it? There’s no way that I could do it. There is no way. Give me a trampoline. Yes. It’s a trampoline used. Can I use a trampoline to dunk the 10 foot rim? Like you didn’t say there’s no trampoline, so can I use it? I don’t know. Okay. Um, but that’s a good question, Stephanie. I mean, those are the things that you would really try to understand and to compensate and to acknowledge all obviously, um, I don’t, you know, that’s and again, like the whole, how do you know the difference thing Stephan is? I don’t know, in terms of, you know, in terms of, uh, the setups to fail, like again, I, I think, I think that really comes down to like individual process of like, how are we communicating about this thing about this difference or about this failure or this obstacle to make you fail, has to be discussed.
Kasey Nicholson (00:34:50):
Um, what is the difference between those things, you know, and I’m going to come back to it, but I just want to get back into these things too, but that’s awesome question, Steph and I really, really liked that. And if I’m not hitting it on the nail on the head, just of maybe reiterate of what maybe you’re trying to get to, um, again, expectations, right? I don’t know if you have an expectation for me to answer it, or are you just asking to see my view, my point of view on it? Um, it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up to was that from Rocky? Did you steal that from Rocky? I’m just joking. Um, high there’s a learning curve. You said my name, right? Take, take away. Oh, cool. I did say it right on. Um, yes, there are totally learning curve.
Kasey Nicholson (00:35:28):
Totally. But then the learning curve, the learning curve can switch. Right? Totally can switch. Like if someone can have different expectations now the learning curve has now switched. You know, this learning curve is going left and I’ve always went left, but now you’re making me go right now. I got to learn how to curve right now. Okay. I don’t know. That was a far-fetched scenario. Albert Ted Mann says, I believe creator guides. My life at night. Failure is considered a lesson, teaches me what the next steps forward towards progress or creator’s plan. Awesome words. Albert Maggie says, people learn from failure. Yeah. Yeah. I’m going to say yes. A hundred percent either negatively or positively. You know, I do believe that Michelle and I’m sure you don’t care what I believe, but I’m just saying, I do agree with your, what you’re saying. Um, Michelle comu, Camille, come out, sorry.
Kasey Nicholson (00:36:26):
Defining what success looks like mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, spiritually little steps, processes, learning what works and doesn’t successes versus satisfied. Some are never satisfied. Good words. Michelle. Juliet failure can paralyze you. Okay. Is that failure or is that the fear of failure? Because failure would mean that you, I don’t know, failure to me would mean that I achieved or tried something and didn’t succeed. Okay. And then if it came back up, I would be scared to fail again. But is that failure or is that fear of failure? Okay. Just questions. Um, uh, I Eva, respect you very well. Okay. Thank you so much. Uh, I appreciate you. You’ve uh, for your good word, Stacy says maybe you meaning yourself are the only one who sees it as failure, but when you keep trying that isn’t failure. My intention of 2021 is I will control my reactions to things I don’t have control over.
Kasey Nicholson (00:37:36):
And this has really helped me work has me, has helped me to work on awesome Stacy great perspective. You know, it is, it really, really is because ultimately we really don’t have control over what happens after we let go the ball or shooting that free throw. We ultimately don’t like to say we do, but we don’t because forces that be might have a different idea of it. The, as we let go, we have to trust the process and all the work we put into it to hopefully that ball goes in the hoop. Like we practiced.
Kasey Nicholson (00:38:12):
Okay. Um, we have no control over that ball after it’s released their hand. We don’t none. Absolutely not nothing when we’re lifting weights and, and uh, you know, we we’ve, we fail, we have no control over. Maybe when our body’s going to say, all right, you know, I’m done. I can’t hold this anymore. We really necessarily don’t even know that we’ve trained it over and over. Sometimes our body says, okay, done. Sometimes our bodies says you have no control over me right now. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. Then you have the motivation. You have the want, you have the stamina that says, Nope, I’m going to change it. I’m going to do it. I don’t know. That’s an example again. Right. Um, some of you probably will get, that was a poor example, Casey, kind of, but I’m trying to get through the anyways and that’s okay.
Kasey Nicholson (00:38:56):
Um, Dane bolster says pencils are a good example of success and failures. Occasionally we erase bad outcomes with plenty of pencil to keep creating and continuing further on our journey path with great creator. That’s a good one. Some of you guys should be hard. And that one, that’s a good analogy as well. Uh, Stephan says again, I think there are higher bars to success, to success, statistically, gee, I can’t say that for certain people. So there are set ups to fail systematically, but that does not diminish one’s personal effort to try to succeed. Yeah. I love that one too. Stephanie, good job. I think sometimes in terms of failure, some people let’s talk let’s let’s idea of alcoholism or drug abuse. I failed to quit alcohol, but did you fail to succeed? I mean, that’s an example of, of failure and success, right? In terms of alcohol, did you try and did you try again, what are you, what, what’s your, what’s your vision or your focus on in terms of success you want to succeed at drinking or do you want to succeed at quitting drinking or do you want to succeed at being sober?
Kasey Nicholson (00:40:18):
Okay. The definitions of it and what you’re striving for. Okay. Um, as an example of that as well. Okay. I mean, how are you defining it? What, what does your body and your emotion, your spirit react to differently to it, the word sober, stopping drinking. Okay. I know some, what are they called? You know, those people that are really metaphysics people like really into like the metaphysical stuff, like the universe of the world only hears the negative, even though you’re putting positive into it. I don’t, I don’t want to fail. Okay. A lot of people will say, Oh, that’s positive, but there’s two, two kind of negatives in there don’t and fail. Right. What you would rather say is, instead of saying, I don’t want to fail, what would you redefine it? As I’m talking about metaphysics and all this energy that goes out and putting out to the universe, instead of saying, I don’t want to fail, what else could you say?
Kasey Nicholson (00:41:17):
I am going to succeed and prosper. So sometimes the mind, the body, the spirit, all these things react better to, I am going to succeed and prosper versus I am not going to fail. Okay. That’s an example of how your mind and your body can work and how it reacts differently to the way you word things or how you perceive things. An example of that is learning process, no matter what. Okay. Um, you feel, you feel good, energy positive or bad. Yep. Kind of what I was saying, actually, Eva, uh, I’d like to personally, I would like to pursue personify energy. That, that way it’s not good or bad. Just human good way. Okay. Some people learn from peeler, yum, unrealistic expectations. When I lost my sight, heavy, heavy reliance on creator. Oh, nice. Um, what Stacy said, listening from tuba city, Arizona. This is Zelda to hi to height, Tahi, sorry.
Kasey Nicholson (00:42:19):
Um, expectations often lead to disappointment. Uh, question. What are some ways to help yourself? We’re come to fear of failure. A good question. Yes. And I’m sure some of our followers here can answer some of that. Um, she has a good question. What are some words, ways to help yourself overcome the fear of failure, defined your failure. Define what failure means. Look in solve and find where did the concept of failure come from for you? If that makes sense? Like, um, why is there such a fear of it who defined, who said that you had to fear it? Okay. Um, what situation are you afraid to fail in?
Kasey Nicholson (00:43:14):
These are all things you need to ask yourself and to explore, to kind of give yourself that answer of helping yourself overcome the feeling of fear of failure, because it all is interconnected. And when we start understanding the process of that fear, whether it be fear of driving, fear of Heights, fear of spiders, fear of something, fear, period, where did it come from and why does it manifest in terms of, you know, the, this, this mind game, this anxiety, the stress, what, where did it come from? And can you let go of whatever is whatever you’re holding onto? Because some people I know in here have addressed failure is success. Um, you have to get up and try again is trying again, scary is, is, is messing up in front of those ones. You love scary and you don’t want to seem, um, less than you don’t want to see an adequate or you don’t want to see, you know, you’re, you don’t want people to see you in a certain light.
Kasey Nicholson (00:44:24):
Um, you don’t want to see yourself in a certain light because you’ve worked hard at something, Oh, you, you are always working hard at something ensure that failure doesn’t happen. But what if it does? And what if it does? What if it does happen on a daily basis and you don’t, you’re not realizing. And I think that’s it. The thing is what are we focused? And what are we hyper focused on in terms of this whole system interconnected web that we live in. Um, and how are we different from any anyone else? And that’s the question we all have to ask yourself is how are we going to redefine or define ourselves to deal with the circumstances that sometimes we have no control over to succeed and become the best version of ourselves possible every day, because we can improve at least incrementally every day to become better than we were yesterday, incrementally.
Kasey Nicholson (00:45:18):
Um, but know that I think a lot of us fail. So here’s an example. Um, I’ve talked about this and probably numerous in Wwise or power hours, or just numerous conferences that have been a part of, we’re just talking to nieces and nephews, uncles, aunties, and grandmas, grandpas, you know, bros, sisters, whatever, strangers on a bus, how we think about it too. And like a baby, a baby is, and hopefully some of you guys have tuned into some of the stuff that I’ve shared, but, um, a baby has no understanding of what failure is. And it’s a beautiful sight to see if you’ve ever seen a baby, try to walk. It gets up and walks. It falls, it walks, it falls, it walks, it stands up, it falls, it falls again. And it’s poopy diaper, pee diaper falls. Again, it scrapes his knee. It hurts itself.
Kasey Nicholson (00:46:03):
It cries, but yet it keeps getting back up. And it’s always being met with positivity and understanding, and love and kindness and nurture. And it’s just come on, you can do it. Oh my God. You’re so beautiful. Did you fall into, okay, BB two? Okay. The baby continues to fall over and over until the succeeds at walking like everybody else. Because when that baby’s on the ground, it sees everybody walking and says, you know what, maybe this is distinctly, but I know there’s a drive inside of me that wants to do what everybody else is doing right now. And I’m going to get up and I’m going to walk like everybody. And it gets up on a shaky little legs, you know, as chubby, little, skinny, little, whatever kind of legs that happen as, and it goes, and like I said, it falls and falls and falls repeatedly.
Kasey Nicholson (00:46:50):
That baby does not have any concept of what failure is. A baby does not have any concept of, of, of, you know, um, of, uh, poor, poor me too. You know, like it just doesn’t have any of that stuff. It’s always seems to me more often than not that I’ve seen. I have now, again, I don’t live in your lives. I don’t know where, what you’ve been faced with, but I’ve never seen it. Baby kicked to a wall, told that it was stupid. It didn’t deserve to walk. It’s a failure. Why is it even trying? You’re dumb. You’re an idiotic baby. You’re not even smart. Um, you probably should just stay on the ground and keep rolling and crawling around because you don’t deserve to walk to be on two legs and walk. You should just, when you fall, you should just stay down on the ground.
Kasey Nicholson (00:47:41):
I’ve never seen a baby be encountered with that kind of, uh, energy or negativity in my life. I’m just saying that’s just me. So, but the baby, what the baby does know is all this positivity, this encouragement, the support, the love, uh, not, there’s no definition of failure. You know, you just failed baby and you know, failures, this is what it means, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It doesn’t, it doesn’t go through that. And the reason why the baby has no fear or what reason why the baby gets back up, over and over is because it’s being told to it’s being encouraged to, and it believes that it can, it just instinctively knows that it can. Um, I think for some of us that fear of failure is the point of, you know, there’s some traumatic things that might have happened to us in our life that we don’t understand yet until we explore it.
Kasey Nicholson (00:48:30):
Um, maybe, uh, what, what we listened to, what are we surround ourselves with? What this, what it’s saying on the news media, what our job expectations are, um, if we’re we’re competent or, or, or, or for adequate enough, uh, we’re trained enough, all these things, you know, I mean, it goes hand in hand. That’s what I think really puts in the fear of failure. But as a baby, you’re just instinctively going off what you feel and what you you see and what you, um, and I guess that time understand that, that this is, this is what I’m going to do. And I have no other choice, but to succeed because other people around me are encouraging me. And this is weird. I’m getting, uh, positive reinforcement to, to, to get back upon my legs and to walk and to fall. And they’re encouraged me to get back up.
Kasey Nicholson (00:49:17):
Oh, okay. You want me to get back up? And I’m walking, walking, I’m getting positivity for walking and I fall. So, okay. We sometimes, I think as a society focus too much on failures on a success, we focus too much on, you know, what were you thinking? This is us talking to ourselves when we fail, what were you thinking? You’re so stupid. Like you could’ve done better. You’re dumb. Like, why didn’t you, why didn’t you do better? You did all the training, you did all, everything you were supposed to do. How could you be so idiotic? Like, man, you’re so ugly right now. Like why did you even think you could like compete with the things in life that we’re facing in front of you? Like, why did you even try, these are the things we say to ourselves now, where do these things come and how do they infiltrate, infiltrate our minds?
Kasey Nicholson (00:50:08):
Something, we probably, somebody said that to us, probably we’ve been told that by the, by the ones we love or we looked up to maybe that’s what, we’ll all we listen to on YouTube and, uh, radio and TV. We’ve ingrained to train their brains to think a certain way and when it comes to failure. But if we think, I think if we are ingrained, ingrained, and train our brains to think differently about the concept of failure, I think the fear of it, I think goes away just like that, baby, if you just, I think act instinctively and just to feel I’m okay with it. This is a natural process of growth or achieving a goal or a dream. Then I think some of that fear, if not all goes away and you continue to fail, but with each failure you get stronger, you get to, you get more knowledgeable, you know, what not to do or what not to walk where not to walk, you know, how fast to go, how slow to go.
Kasey Nicholson (00:51:06):
You know, um, patients, you know, is another thing too, I think really helps a lot of us as well. Um, that’s a long winded answer, sorry, Jessica. But hopefully that helped a little bit, um, again, still continuing to reach out to any one of us in a, hopefully it will be able to help more and more. And I hope if it’s not, if it’s not, you you’re specifically specifically talking to, um, maybe you can share some of this, these words, these good words with somebody that you know of, uh, has that fear of failure. Okay. Um, you fall hard. You get back up on that horse and ride, but what if the horse is scared now? Do you ever think about that, Patrick? I’m just joking. Just totally joking. Um, we’re our own worst judges we can always learn and adapt. We are, we really, really are.
Kasey Nicholson (00:51:54):
That’s kinda what I went into. You know, this is what we tell ourselves. We self-sabotage ourselves. We talk ourselves down. We, we, we, we, we know mentally, emotionally, you know, all these dimensions in our life are ready for success, but sometimes things are going too good and we self-sabotage yourself to not succeed. And, uh, we, we, we become bet. We become accustomed to being okay and we’ve become accustomed to being comfortable. And I think the failure part of it is really the uncomfortable part. No one really supposedly wants to fail, um, because they seen it as a negative connotation, but actuality, it can actually be seen as a positive thing. Cause I tried and I’m continuing to try and I’m going to develop and grow from this. Or like someone else said in the comments, move on from it, because maybe that course is not directly for you. Maybe this other way is so again, the whole concept of, you know, I am not going to fail versus I am going to succeed and prosper. Okay. Now whole different route of viewing, viewing success. Okay. Viewing failure, UK viewing, viewing this, this world that we live in. That’s an example. Um,
Kasey Nicholson (00:53:15):
Okay. Replying to Jessica Nisha or Misha says find the reward and what you wish to accomplish. Don’t do in the failures before trying again beautiful. Uh, great healers. The Indian act indoctrination system of Americas, uh, Kia or, uh, relations. Oh, uh, is that, um, my auntie Marie Marie, Marie, Marie. Sorry if I, I don’t know if that is or is that, I don’t know. I’m so sorry. That’s that’s I just sounds like someone that I’ve met that said that before. I don’t know who it was. Maybe they were from there. Um, mission. Exactly. Our fears are our own fears. And not only can we, the thinker understand the reasons why we fear while others can help us. See the only one who can answer the real question is, is the ourselves and their preconceptions. We have created good words, Misha, Misha, sorry. Winnie Shaw failure is a self-sabotage word. True. Take the out of your out of the equation.
Kasey Nicholson (00:54:23):
Stephan says I am in recovery for more than 10 years practice, practice practice. First thing I did was get clean. I have a way of life that meets my four part needs emotionally, mentally, physically, and especially spiritually. The spirituality is a way of life from native native practices and Japanese Buddhist practice. Uh, every moment alive is a precious gift. Choo choo choo. I needed this so much right now. I’m starting up a business and I keep getting frustrated and I want to give up daily, don’t give up Ameesh, you keep going. It’s okay. Uh, I don’t know what your goals or your true aspirations are in terms of the business. And, uh, sometimes it takes just like a little tweak in something spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, spiritually, um, to get over that hump, you know, and maybe it’s not even that big of a hump, but maybe it’s a hump that we’ve created to make it a monumental mountain. And it’s really not a mountain. It’s just a little hump. Um, but our mind makes it a mountain and it’s really just a little hump. So again, perception, right? That’s really a key key concept in this whole failure. Isn’t going to make us or break us kind of thing.
Kasey Nicholson (00:55:38):
Failure is driven into us by negative people that are supposed to help us then on our own, it’s hard to shake as an adult. It is because our minds are so convoluted with everything. We, we interpret things and we see things and we hear things because as a kid or as a baby, we don’t understand what’s going on per se. Um, cause we don’t know the meaning of a lot of things we don’t have. We don’t really know how to interpret a lot of the things that are being said or, or told that to us. Um, what we do, we do, I think, as a baby really go off a lot of the feel and the love or the hurt or whatever may be. And um, but I don’t know, as an adult and what we’ve been through and the experiences we go through can really define again how we are either made, made or broke by failure.
Kasey Nicholson (00:56:26):
And, but like, I think someone else said we can always redefine that we can always drive to, to, to reconfigure something inside ourselves to deal with that failure, to not limit us, but to, to empower us. Okay. Um, really it comes down to you. I mean, ultimately, um, we all make mistakes. Uh, Felicia says, Oh MENA, hold on. Oh well, Oh yeah. Mina says I, yes, I am very good at verbally beating myself up. Yes. Oh, I have an exercise for that. We all do. Especially all of us start with that in my opinion for you Mina, this is just, this is something I do. I have this, Oh no. Call it mantra, mantra, mantra. Um, or this affirmation, I always say inside my head, when I try to self sabotage myself or I get nervous or get scared, or I feel like, uh, things ain’t going right in a way I started throwing out negative or not negative.
Kasey Nicholson (00:57:27):
I start throwing out positive positivity to myself. You are. And then I started naming all the positive stuff to myself so that I can quit the verbally beating that I give my, that would give myself way more in the past than I am giving myself now. Um, but I hardly, I don’t think I ever really beat myself. I’m not in jokingly though. My lady always gets on me. Like, yeah, you joke about it, but you’re still saying it. And I’m like, Ooh, that is true. That is true. So I try not to even joke about it. It’s hard for me because I’m a jokester. I’m okay. But I’m like, maybe that’s not something I should joke about. Especially to myself. I should be kind to myself and, and all aspects, you know? Um, but yeah. Um, so just positive writing on your mirror and seeing it every day, this beautiful, smart, intelligent, successful, prosperous, strong indigenous native your tribe would that tried means all these things.
Kasey Nicholson (00:58:26):
I mean, you could put a whole page on a freaking mirror and read it every day. You can look at yourself and tell yourself all the time. Every time you can record yourself, if this is okay, here’s a good example, recording to uplift self Casey. I know you’re going through a hard time right now. Things are not always easy and that’s okay. But whatever challenge you’re going through right now, just know that you are healthy, happy, strong, love, prosperous, successful. Um, beautiful. And you’re going to go, you’re going to get through this and I love you. And you’re the world to me. And I want nothing but success for you. So I know you can do this and you’ll get through this with flying colors, but make sure you let it out. Go cry, go screen, go laugh, go talk to somebody and know that you’re not alone in this.
Kasey Nicholson (00:59:27):
You’re awesome period. And I record that on my phone and then I can read it or read it. I can hear it when I’m not feeling too good. And I need to give myself a, another, another boost in life example. That’s an example. Okay. Felicia said daily affirmations online, help. Stephan said my mantra starts automatically now in my mind and quite negative energy. Just like nine. Yeah. I just go right into it. I don’t even think about it anymore. It just goes right into it. Thank you so much. Seriously. I needed this today. Thank you so much. Meaning for participating in it, Jessica, thank you for answering my question, Casey, all your awesome Jessica hope, uh, whatever you or whoever else is going through that, uh, um, fear of failure. It’s gonna, I, I can’t, I can’t the positivity I’m about to tell you is it’s going to be okay.
Kasey Nicholson (01:00:17):
But all I can give you hopefully is the know-how or the, the positive energy of strength, courage, love. That’s all I can give you the rest. You’re going to have to deal with it with yourself. Sorry. That’s like saying, you know, let me build a house for you. That’s not my job. I’ll give you the hammer to the nails. Go do it. Okay. Anyways. Yeah, that was a long winded question. Okay. Uh, I think my time is up. That was really good. Uh, that was chill today. Hannah was so chill. That was like, so failure, nothing to get amped up about nothing like, ah, we’ve got to go this, we’ve got to conquer the world sometimes just talking about failure within your families and within your loved ones. Talk more express more. What about where that fear of failure came and express yourselves more and understand and talk to your counselors, write it down, explore it with the people that you love or the people that you, you, you confide in, maybe even with the people that have failed that you feel like have failed you or that you have failed.
Kasey Nicholson (01:01:22):
Okay. Um, maybe the people that have hurt you or you hurt talk about it with them, this, this failure concept and this idea. I think that really key thing of it really is to really talk more about the things that we fear or the things that we feel bad about or even good about. And to, to just, I think really is communicate more as a whole. Our people need to communicate so much more and me included. I’m not perfect. I don’t know anything. I’m a piddle for him and being, trying to do the best I can each and every day to become better than I was yesterday. Okay. And I think I’m doing a good job. No, I know I’m doing a good job at that. And um, and I’ll continue to try hard for each and every one of you. Um, and try my best by you. Uh, you guys are all beautiful. You guys are all great. And I hope you guys all are trying to, again, be better than you were yesterday. Take a deep breath in
Kasey Nicholson (01:02:22):
Let it out.
Kasey Nicholson (01:02:27):
Now go live your life. You guys are awesome. I am out and we’ll see you guys on the next power hour that I do. And I hope that I hope you guys are continuing to fall each power hour throughout the weeks. We are on a roll. We have a power every week. It’s freaking cool every day of the week, except Saturday, Sundays, I think. But sometimes Saturday, Sundays. Anyways. Thank you guys so much. Thank you, Felicia. Thank you, Janine. Thank you. Uh, bologna. Thank you, Tina. Thank you, David. Um, thank you, Ashley. Thank you, Jessica. Thank you, Mina. Thank you everybody that has, um, stopped in. Thank you, Stephan for your good words. Oh, I am out on how ban until next time. See you guys later. Take care.